I penciled in some time to “Freak Out” on Sunday night in my planner, because this next week is going to be insane. 

And sometimes I just want to get away from it.

I want to get married (I want this wedding).  And have a baby (I hope I’m this cute when I’m pregnant). 

I also have some alternate careers planned out:

1.  Post office worker.  But I want one of those little small-towny post offices where I’ll basically be in charge and by myself and sell people stamps and send their packages on their way and daydream about what’s inside.  Sounds way more ideallic in my head.

2.  Librarian.  See above.  But with books.

3.  I want to live in England, and go to Persephone “cream teas” (I don’t know what a cream tea is, but it sounds nice, after I learn to like tea, of course) wearing a floral skirt, and live in a little cottage and ..I dunno..baffle British people with my Southern-American-ness, I guess..There’s no career in this daydream, exactly..I would just go around being charming and adorable..

4.  Cupcake bakery owner.  Last year, during a particularly bad week, my friend and I flipped through a cake decorating book and planned how we were going to drop out of college and start a business, down to the details of camping out in front of the administration building to be the first at the registrar’s office the next morning.  Alas, we were too chicken to follow through.

5.  Basically, I want to be Meg Ryan in “You’ve Got Mail” before her store closes.  But plus Tom Hanks.  I love her apartment in that movie (actually, I love everything about that movie, it’s my favorite).  I want to live in either that apartment or Katherine Heigl’s in “27 Dresses“, but in a cool converted loft that used to be a mill or something with an exposed brick wall.  I’m not picky or anything.

6.  My favorite escapist song is Ingrid Michaelson’s “Far Away”.  “I will live my life as a lobsterman’s wife, on an island in the blue bay/ He will take care of me, he will smell like the sea….” and so on..I want to live that life, complete with three girls, all with strawberry curls..

7.  I want to be a ballerina.  I’m afraid that ship has sailed.

8.  I want to be married to a farmer, I want to live on a farm, with animals and gardens..I want to can vegetables and cook big meals and biscuits and gravy on the weekends and have our friends over for bluegrass music and dancing..I may or may not have my farming family picked out..I want to be Caroline Ingalls, but less sugary sweet.  I want to be married to Charles Ingalls, pretty much.  Only today, not a hundred and fifty years ago. 

9.  Today I was thinking that I sorta want to live in Tennessee, in one of the small towns my family used to live in..I could go live with my extended family and work on their organic farm.  Or, I mean, I could do what I’m getting a degree in and teach.  (But why would I want to go do a thing like that, right?)

10.  I like that commercial for the birth control that shows the family standing in front of their house and runs through all the things they do, with those three red-headed boys and then they decide they want another baby and this sweet little redheaded baby girl shows up.  Do you know the one I’m talking about?  Where the mom wants to finish a book?  Or at least a sentence?  This reference may be a stretch.. 

11.  If I could start college again, I would major in linguistics and be a Bible translator.  That would be pretty sweet.

12.  Or, I would be an Art History major and get my doctorate and work in a museum.  And while I was working on my degree, I would live in Florence, Italy and be a tour guide for all the English-speaking tourists.  And I would have little Italian speaking babies.

Wow, I didn’t realize I had that many little escapes until I started writing them all out.  And I don’t want to hear about how impractical they are and how they would just as stressful, if not more.  If they were practical, I would be doing them instead of this.

What are your little escapes from reality?



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2 responses to “Escapism

  1. wedontchoose

    “I would just go around being charming and adorable” actually made me laugh aloud.

    I know which birth control commercial you are talking about, and I love how they move to Memphis…I don’t know, I have always loved that little fictitious family’s outcome.

    All of these career choices I have actually considered except for the postal worker and the Bible translator. Oh, and I never wanted to be married to a farmer…I am more of a city girl. 😀

    I really like to imagine myself with a cute apartment that is just magically furnished with just the perfect things all the time, too.

    And, finally, I love that you scheduled ‘freak-out time.’ Have a good day!!

  2. A cream tea is a scone topped with butter, jam and a dollop of clotted cream. Full of calories but delicious all the same.

    And the English weather might mean you can’t wear your floral skirt too many days during the summer so bring a scarf to go with it.

    Elaine Saunders
    Author – A Book About Pub Names and Fiction Writing Exercises

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